My Facebook feed is awash with gratitude postings right now. It’s a good thing, I think, to focus on what makes you happy in life, and I certainly have much for which to be grateful. I’ve read that by thinking positively, we can make more positive things happen and that should make it easier to show and feel gratitude. Experiments have been shown that the simple act of being grateful can make you happier and healthier – this blog from 2013 is one of many that references several scientific studies to that effect.
But come on – let’s be real – at the risk of sharing a deep, dark secret, I can’t be the only one who’s ever wanted to throw the mother of all tantrums over the unjustness of it all, can I? The kind where you kick and scream like a toddler (or drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine) about all that’s unfair? All that’s wrong with life and with the world and how ill-equipped you are to do anything about it?
Why did things turn out like this? When did violence in the streets get so close to home? Why is my job so demanding? How come my kids don’t appreciate me? Why are nations taking up arms against each other? How come I’m doing this all by myself? Why is my place of refuge torn apart by petty politics? Why do people have to get sick? Why are planes falling from the sky? How come I can’t go on exotic holidays like my colleagues ? Why can’t we all get along and do what’s best for the whole world instead of just our little corner? Why are my friends having such difficult days right now? He called me what?!
Of course, I could lie, and say none of this ever crosses my mind, but that simply wouldn’t be true, and I’d hazard a guess it’s the same for most people. Nobody’s perfect, and there are times when the weight of day-to-day life simply gets unbearably heavy. There are days when I would love nothing better than to hunker down, mired in my seeming inability to change anything at all. On those days I want to crawl into bed and pulled the covers over my head and just stay there until the tempest passes. This past winter’s never-ending snow was really conducive to that feeling and there were a couple of days that I almost gave into that desire! I think even my kids have realized that if there’s a bottle of pop in the fridge and cheezies in the cupboard that they ought to give me wide berth – that it’s one of those days!
There’s a wonderful children’s book called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst, that I often think of when I’m feeling down – and the smile that it brings to my face is sometimes the first tentative step out of the funk. Because I know I can’t retreat to that cozy cave, I pull myself together and face the world. Sometimes it takes the whole bag of cheezies, but thus rebalanced, I can see things in their true proportion.
After a few deep breaths, the storm settles, and the weight lightens. As the winds die down to a gentle breeze, I can just begin to make out the rainbow across the way. And then I get on with it.
Despite my occasional Alexander-like moment, I am determined to be more grateful than toddler-like. I really do believe that the act of being grateful can keep your spirits high. My yoga buddies, both near and far, have been extolling the virtues of meditation to allow gratitude to flow more freely. I’m not sure if it will do the job for me, but I won’t know until I try. So for the next month, I’m going to try a short meditation each morning. If nothing else, it should centre me and make it easier to approach the chaos of each day a little calmer – and if I’m lucky, maybe just a little more gratefully.
