It’s what happens when you strap on the water skis after years of letting them gather dust in the boat house. It’s how you always remember how ride a bike. It’s what Olympic athletes rely on to nail performances and win races. And it’s what happened to me a couple of weeks ago when muscle memory took over and I started singing the alto part in an anthem I knew well, instead of the soprano part I’d just learned.
Muscle memory.
Through repetition, our muscles can be trained to encode, retain and repeat movements and eventually make those movements without conscious thought. I started thinking recently about how the same principles might apply to our brain. Albeit it’s not exactly like our other muscles, but it is often spoken of as our largest.
When my kids were little, I made all their decisions for them. What they ate, what they wore, who they played with. As they got older, I started letting them make small decisions. Peas or carrots. Red shirt or blue shirt. The decisions got bigger, and by teen years, there were moral implications. Call to apologize to a friend who felt slighted? Go to school even on a day when we knew there’d be no real lesson?
I remember more than one occasion where I told them the decision was theirs to make and watching them feel torn. I’d hold my breath and cross my fingers they would make the “right” decision. I was accused of it not really being their decision, as they weighed the temptation of what they wanted to against what they knew they should do.
Now that my littlest is approaching her 18th birthday, I realize what I’ve been doing – without being conscious of doing it – is letting them stretch those decision-making muscles. Giving them opportunities to learn how to do it right while the implications are small. Giving them a chance to be successful enough times that when the big decisions come, that they are confident in making wise choices quickly.
It’s early yet to know whether there’s been enough practise, but the signs are there that for the most part the kids are making wise choices as they navigate the early years of adulthood.
Now if only I could unlearn the muscle memory of reaching for the chips when I sit down in front of the TV!
