There but for the grace of God go I.
Those words echoed through my mind all afternoon a few Saturdays ago, as I took part in a Habitat for Humanity build project.
It was a good day. My colleagues and friends had stepped up to help me meet – and exceed – my fundraising goals and I spent the day exercising my construction muscles by putting siding on a house that would eventually become the home of an underprivileged family. It felt good to be doing something purposeful and constructive, and to be giving back.
We had stopped for lunch, and former recipients of Habitat homes had come to talk to us and explain a little bit about what our efforts meant to them. One woman, not that many years younger than me talked about the struggles she’d had when she became a single mother of three young children. I remembered difficult days of my own, when I took on that badge of honour as well, and I realized with a bit of a start, that had a few things not gone my way, her story could easily have been mine.
They say you make your own luck. I’m not so sure about that. When life hands you lemons, some people already have the recipe and the tools to make lemonade, and some people have to scramble about just to find a juicer and a jug. By way of a good education, a strong family and faith network and enough stubbornness not to give up, I had many of the makings of good lemonade. This woman did not.
As I hammered nails into the siding with my team that afternoon to help create a cozy, airtight home for another family, I kept returning to that thought. Because, and not to belabour the metaphor, once you have the recipe and the tools, making the best lemonade possible is up to you, but not everyone sees that.
What I do know, is that if you’re given a break, you have to make the most out of it. With a lot of hard work, I was able to turn some lucky breaks into a really good life. But make no mistake about it, there were some extraordinarily lucky breaks along the way –starting with a freelance job in an industry I knew nothing about that got parlayed into covering a maternity leave for a bigger company that was suggested by an acquaintance common to the mother-to-be and me.
I know another single mother who didn’t have the advantage of a good education. She’s worked really hard while raising her child to get one, and now holds a good job. It was tough slogging for her for many years, but she always saw herself as a victim and felt that the world was out to get her. She’s passed that down to the next generation, which is a shame.
I’m stubborn enough to have refused to do that. And I think that opened my eyes to those little pieces of luck, allowing me to recognizing them for the chances they were and throwing myself at them to prove my worth.
So when that maternity leave ended, I found a way to stay on. And working in that industry has been my bread and butter (and with more luck, some jam as well!) for well over a decade now. Luck? A supreme being watching over me? Hard work? I’m not sure, but I do know it was certainly not all in my control.
And so as I listened to this woman, who had found her own luck had come much later in the form of a volunteer-built house, and was clearly turning that into a better life, I couldn’t help feel extraordinarily grateful for the luck I had early on, the chances I’ve been given, the education and awareness to see the sparks, and turn them into beacons of flame that fire my life.
There may just be another Habitat build in my future.
