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Losing number two

Two years ago, I wrote about getting ready for my first-born to leave the nest. Now it’s time to start thinking about the same mix of pride, sadness, excitement and melancholy again.

Son number two has always been his own person. He’s never cared what other people thought and has forged his own way – right from the get go. There were many times in his early years when I muttered this mantra over and over again: “Strong-willed toddlers become strong adults” just to stay sane. It’s no secret in our family that he and I have had our share of battles. My daughter would say that’s because I’m just as stubborn as he is, but I’m not sure I believe that!

All my kids are special in their own ways and have unique gifts and to offer the world, but I think (don’t tell him!) this is my most “interesting” child. He reads voraciously and has done since he was four. A gym teacher once had to tell us he reads too much and should play more.

Another teacher had to explain to him that when she said read a book every day, she didn’t mean read a chapter book every day – that one chapter a day was sufficient. He likes to see “thinking” movies, along with his action flicks and comedies. He takes his girlfriend to live theatre performances. “Just because” has never been an acceptable answer. Because of this thirst for knowledge, he’s always got opinions and is happy to discuss the issues of the day – or the ones on his mind at least. These days, he out-debates me regularly!

Despite this more forceful side of his personality, my boy has a true soft side as well. It’s him that the little ones instinctively run to. It’s he who makes them feel at ease, interacting with them effortlessly. My sister-in-law once told me he was one of the only babysitters who could actually get her children to bed! And as a lifeguard and swimming instructor, it’s the beginners he prefers to teach. 

Like his elder brother, he spent last summer as a camp counsellor at a sleep-away camp he’s attended for years. In fact, he insisted on going to camp before his brother really wanted to go (and before I wanted to let him!), and it’s been his summer getaway ever since. But unlike his brother, who loves the “organizing” side of camp, he is all about working with the kids; this summer he will be a special resource counsellor for those who are having difficulty adjusting and who need extra attention.

It’s because of this special quality that he’s excelled at his other job – working a couple of lunch hours a week with teens at his high school who have significant mental and physical deficiencies. This same quality, coupled with his independent spirit, is leading him to pursue a less-than-traditional education for men – a BSc in Nursing. I couldn’t be more proud.

Because of the way his semesters worked out, three of his prereqs fell in second semester, so acceptances took a long time to come in. The past few months were stressful, but even so, it’s an exciting time for him, as he looks to expand his horizons and spread his wings tentatively further than ever before. I have no doubts that he will settle into university life with gusto. I hope that he knows I’m his biggest cheering section and that I have faith in his abilities. I also hope he knows that I have his back and that he can count on me if he ever starts to feel out of his depth.

I’m in a bit of a state of disbelief that I have another one leaving soon. I’m down to counting weeks – just two left  – before he heads out for his summer camp job. And then there will be just two of us. It’s going to be strange to be in an all-girl house!