My son called me from university before the school year ended in April. He was very excited – he’d found an apartment. Plans were afoot with new friends he’s made this year to live together next year. In fact, they plan to move in together in May and sublet if necessary. All that remained to be done was the official paperwork
He’d thought out how much the next year of school would cost, had estimated high and had a plan to cover the part over and beyond what I can help him out with. He was proud to have done so, and prouder still, I think, to share his thinking with me.
We talked for a while and then he told me the address. I quickly typed it into Google while we chatted about my upcoming visit to his university town. The search results came up and I did a bit of a double take.
Bed bugs. Roaches. Drugs. A murder. This apartment complex has seen it all.
Trying so hard not to burst his bubble, I suggested my son do the search I had just done. We talked for a couple more minutes and then he rushed me off the phone. He needed to talk to his potential roommates. I spent the next half an hour waiting with bated breath, hoping they were making the right decisions. Fortunately they did, and the apartment of horrors will not be where he lives next year.
Son #1 is at the age – coming up on 19 – where he’s starting to make all kinds of decisions for himself. Because he’s several hours away at school, he’s making them without me knowing – which is both good and bad! Sometimes he comes to me for advice, and I try to help him consider the options, but I have to stop myself from making the decision for him. He’s got a good gounding and is level headed, but I know there will be times when he will make decisions I don’t agree with. Some will be good ones, and I’ll silently cheer from the sidelines. Some will inevitably be mistakes – and I’ll have to sit on those same sidelines, staying alert, but quiet and not “fix” it for him unless he asks for help. That’s going to be the hard part for me. I’m not exactly known for keeping my opinions to myself.
He’s back home for a few weeks before heading up to his summer camp job in another month – where Son #2 is joining him for his first summer job – and I was thrilled that he understood he needed to be working in the 2 months he had before that began. Home for 72 hours, he had completed two job interviews, got offered both and accepted one. He was at work by day six. Clearly, some prep work had been done while still at school – another good decision made. It’s only dishwashing, but it’s the perfect way to fill in the gap until the more fun and fulfilling leadership role at camp begins.
Back to living arrangements for next year. My son has come up with an alternate arrangement, that seems to suit him well and is well within the budget envelope we talked about. I’ve not seen it – although I have seen photos – and he took care of all the paperwork himself. I’m sure it’s fine, and even if it’s not, it’s only for 8 months.
But boy am I glad that original Googled apartment is off the list!
