Last year, like many other professional women, I’m sure, I read Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, from cover to cover trying to learn from her spectacular success as Facebook COO. After all, she has a demanding job and a family. How does she do it? And was there anything in there that I could adapt for my life? I even participated on a Women in Nuclear panel discussing the book alongside some other senior women in the industry. Like them, I definitely recognized myself in some of the traits Ms. Sandberg describes as holding women back in the workforce, how the way we view ourselves and the world causes us to limit ourselves. She quotes internal research from Hewlett-Packard that showed women apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria, whereas men apply if they feel they meet 60 percent of the requirements, presumably figuring they’ll learn the rest on the job.
Huh. I can’t speak for the men, but the female side of that story resonates with me. This kind of self-deselection can only hurt women’s progress in the workforce. There were lots of interesting observations and studies, but despite how many times I nodded my head as I read on, Ms. Sandberg’s book still never quite rang true for me as a whole. I just couldn’t see myself changing, no matter how much I agreed that my approach and my choices in the workplace might be seen as limiting.
Then Ariana Huffington’s book, Thrive, came out this spring and I wondered if her approach might speak to me more. Another stunningly successful woman, Ms. Huffington is chair, president and editor-in-chief of the media empire that bears her name.
What appealed to me right away was her realization that she needed to slow down, stop trying to do everything and make time to figure out what she really wanted. She doesn’t offer a recipe for success, but recommends redefining what success means for YOU, looking at more than just money and power. A third metric is worth looking at – consisting of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving.
Reading this was a little like having the lights go on, the big bell loudly rung or whatever metaphor you choose. Ms. Huffington was advocating the importance of many of the things I’m struggling with. She writes about the importance of meditation or other forms of self-renewal, and about tech-free holidays.
And then there’s PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi who has recently achieved a bit of infamy for telling The Atlantic that women can’t have it all. Many have responded negatively to her suggestion that telling women they can do this is crazy. But I think she’s onto something. The juggling act that we do as women to manage careers, families, volunteer work and ourselves is a tough one. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel like one part of that equation gets less of me than it deserves. And managing the guilt that feeling brings is another blog post altogether.
All I can hope is that overall, it balances out fairly well and that the sacrifices on a day-to-day basis are the right ones. Hearing another woman talk about the same struggles in a frank and yet humorous manner is reassuring. I’m not alone.
Ms. Huffington’s comments particularly made me feel as if I’m on the right path. I don’t have to be constantly striving to climb the corporate ladder. Other parts of my life can fulfil that third metric for me. First challenge? Going on my summer holiday without any devices. I’ll let you know how I do!
