Remember that dream? The one I’ve spent the past year planning? I’m beginning to think it was just a hallucination.
I’m on the countdown to a four-month sabbatical from work to try and write something worth reading. I’ve got five days left at work and another five until I’m supposed to fly to that view I’ve dreamed about for years. The one that was supposed to inspire me to great things.
But with every day – even every hour – that passed last week that view slipped slowly further and further from my grasp. And now, like a mirage in the desert it might just disappear entirely.
It’s not as if I hadn’t been paying attention to the growing COVID-19 crisis, but it seemed like an obstacle that could be overcome. Until last week. As the world ramped up its response, I started to get concerned that my well thought out plans to have a stopover in Frankfurt to stretch my legs on on my way to Istanbul might not have been a good idea. But surely that was just my overactive imagination, right? But toward the end of the week, Turkey closed its borders to flights from Germany, And the world hit just about every panic button available to it and that fear became a reality.
Still, there was an answer. There are direct flights. With luck my airline could switch me to a partner. Getting through to them would be a challenge with all the March Break travelers needing changes before me. But I was confident that it could be dealt with.
I still haven’t gotten through.
This morning, I realize that the well-planned, well-athought out (and not inexpensive) health insurance I purchased has declared that Canada’s new travel advisory to avoid all unnecessary travel outside the country means that any COVID-19 health issues will not be covered.
So while I drown my sorrows, I have some decisions to make. Because I AM taking this sabbatial. And I am going away. My mental wellbeing will take a huge hit if I don’t. And yes, I know that this is one of those “first world problems” and that there are other with far bigger concerns in this time, but for me, this is a big deal.
I could take a big risk and go anyway – assuming all international travel has not been banned in next 10 days – and that I can get through to my airline (which is still fielding so many calls I can’t even be put on hold!). After all, this is meant to be a pretty solitary adventure. And if I have to be quarantined, being stuck in a flat overlooking the Bosphorus is not the worst place to be. At one of my many scheduled going away dinners last night, some lovely friends actually found some Turkish Lira to send me away with. I’d like to be able to use it!
Or I could start wrapping my head around the idea that maybe I’ve been looking at this wrong the whole time. Maybe the body of water in my dream isn’t where I think it is. Canada has three coasts. That’s a whole lot of water. A lot of beautiful coastline. A lot of options.
My head is spinning with all of this and my heart is heavy with choices I need to make, with absolutely no certainty of what the next couple of weeks brings…..
